APRIL 15, 2021 (#1)

Who's eating my pretty perfect

pie? I know I know...I gotta get

new material! But I do so love

baking these amazing meat

pies I mentioned. And there's

nothing that makes my (mostly)

daily breakfasts outdoors even

more elegant no matter what

time or where than a silky fog

rising up and burning off gently

in the sun. If you've never seen PLAY MISTY FOR ME it's overdue now. Eastwood

may be at his best (at least if you compare it to his badass D. Harry flix of the time).

Most of you have at least heard of my nightime fun in the woods but I'm still a bit

miffed out of the 20,000+ visitors daily only a dozen non-Vips have bothered to

message and say hello, enjoying the site or...your site sucks. Either way...would

appreciate some feedback. Lurkers are lousy! Don't lurk in life either people!

GET OUT, GET INVOLVED, GET LIVING OR GET DYING! Don't remember who

said that but it's relevant and real. Be real, feel, seal the deal, heal and have a

a meal...a feast..devour LIFE! Meanwhile, I'm listening today to JERKY BOYS!

OMG! I know they're crass and vulgar, stupid and embarrassing to the human

race but...like the stooges etc they still make me laugh because they shine

on the ridiculousness of us all, life, the world. I'd hire Sparky the clown! When I

was in grade 10 I was a clown for some kids at a local hospital with some

friends and my red nose kept falling off. Do you think that's a bad omen?

Maybe it's a harbinger of something cosmically misaligned! My next VENUS

is ADRIENNE BARBEAU...gorgeous, perfect in CANNONBALL RUN

(that sounds dirty...is it dirty?), sexy as hell and before my time too...sigh!

But the original Stevie DJing the dreadful hours of THE FOG!

Now that I've been a DJ for several years I respect the voice!

HOMER FEASTS ON HIS MOTHER'S WARM PIE

APRIL 15, 2021 (#2)

When it cums to cards -- especially

fortune telling -- there's so much

subjectivity. KINGS/QUEENS

does away with all that. They lay

as twisted or straight as they cum

from the deck and there's no

gypsy nonsense. Of course it's

all nonsense but it's fun and

there's an eerie accuracy at times.

Not always. I'm a bit twisted but

there's an old proverb that says something like, "What the gods have made

twisted, let no man straighten." Do you suppose the cosmos has a plan in-

cluding all the criminals and crazies and weirdos and wanton women

that morality has no business trying to 'adjust'? There's a creepy thought!

I've played twister clothed and in only underwear. Ever tried it? Being adult

isn't a reason not to. If anything, it's much more of an adult-appropriate

game than for kids since humans need touch and (at least when Covid isn't

crushing the closeness) it's a fun and fab way to cross those 'personal

space' barriers and mingle where it tingles. I'll be watching TWIST OF FATE

today I think with Ginger Rogers. Along with the original THE FOG it should

make a few hours easy-squeezy with my company in the outdoor cabana

where it can rain all it wants but with the 40 inch tv set up and laying on

the bed outdoors, one can have the best of both worlds -- Movies...without

being twisted up indoors. I'm gunna be sleeping out there the first night

that's warm enough! Seriously...get a cabana. Got it years ago and it

liberated my life from being indoors too much of the time!

APRIL 13, 2021 (#1)

Phone's in the fridge after cutting

up some watermelon two hours

ago. I'm washing my boobs with

a bagel I was eating in the shower.

The garage locked shut and now

I can't get into my own house.

I'm gaggin on a V8 I just chugged

forgetting it wasn't 5alive.

We've all done some pretty silly

stupid sh*t in our lives. I once

called my 10th grade geography

teacher Mrs. Hippo -- a nick the

the kids had been calling Ms. Hyland for years because of her fat hips and neck.

Sometimes we forget ourselves. Sometimes we lose a moment, a continuity of

consciousness. It's hilarious! What's the stupidest/silly thing you've ever done?

That's partially why I embrace my ditzyiness/foolish heart/head -- life is

loosie-goosie when you're loosie-goosie. Life is also lustier when you're

bustier but also giddier when you're kiddier. As most age they lose the ability

to be silly, excited! Embarrassment takes over and COOL becomes so

important that it becomes a full-time job to be smooooooooth! I'm one

those "smooth move exlax" people and it phases me zero! I make myself

laugh! Girlicious did the worst foolish/silly thing by self-destructing on their

diva/egos before they were even a smash hit but they were scrumptious

and they sing a mad-good STUPID SH*T! Elvis insisted we not be cruel.

I agree...but I also think the first step to cruelty is being COOL. Cool leads

to cruel...so Don't Be Cool. BE COOL is an awesome movie BTW.

But then so is RAT RACE...I'm weeeeening I'm weeeeening! Rowan

is just hilarious and adorable -- the Chaplin of our time! 

APRIL 13, 2021 (#2)

It's hard to acquit Americans

of their stupidity. Mercer made

a hilarious living on the buffet

that is American ignorance.

"Congratulations Canada on

getting your first mile of

paved road!" ARE YOU

SERIOUS?!?!?! WOW!

I mean there's Dumb and

then there's.........deliberately ignorant/uneducated/uninformed.

Weird is fine! Megan (Fox) has said some of the most AWESOME things

any human's ever been recorded saying and some of them are right

on the money like, "Olivia Wilde is so sexy she makes me wanna strangle a

mountain ox with my bare hands!" OMG what an awesome crazy thing

to say!! If you're going to say something crazy/weird...say something

like THAT! Don't be the idiot who arrested a woman for possession of

SPAGHETTI-Os! There are entire states that have adopted a posture of

"We are simply ignoring COVID exists". I'm not a GOOFY fan because he

wreaks mayhem by simply being careless and apathetic. BE FUN!!!

In 60 scs Ashrita Furman crushed 80 eggs with his head! That sounds

like a hellofalotoffun and stupid as hell! Pick something FUN TO DO

today and do it no matter how silly/stupid. Laugh at youself! Be a

cool fool but don't drool or be a tool! Maybe try a HIPPETY-HOP!

Peter Sellers Birdie Num Nums,

Animal House Pledge Pin/Golf

Caddyshack Bionic Scene...

Some things never go out of

laughing-style! Silly is funny.

Zohan salon-sex/styling...

And BTW...grandmas

panties??? Seriously?!?!