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$99 Births The VENUS

(30 minutes of what's been voted far-

and-away the best BBBJ in GTA)

$185 Girths The PENIS

(Everything else & DBLS your time)

"Better than anyone I've ever known!

Dynamite! Just Dynamite!"

-- GUMPER

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THIS SITE IS NOT MEANT TO BE VIEWED ON A PHONE

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CONGRATS!! to our
MERRY CHERRIES winner!
Biskit31 saw Britney's 6PM POST
last night of the cherries & went
hunting for the matching link==>
link on my site which has been
laying unfound since APRIL 19
2018!! He found it in the cherry-
licking photo posted seven years
ago like the clever devil he is!
He then KIK'd me the proper
info and BINGO BANGO, he's
ready to TANGO! 
As I said several days ago, now that my two wives have both arrived
and now with the lockdown cracking down in the area...
I'm heading NORTH with two cars full of fun to finally travel
not to any exotic foreign locales or even out of Ontario, but to
places NORTH and west of here with sleeping bags for the back
of the SUVs and -- though staying clear of civilization and people
(I've had a flurry of human disappointments this last week anyhow!)
-- exploring the wilderness and world of stillness and beauty.
I will not be posting on this blog but those of you on KIK
can contact me for CAMJAMS, photos, video etc.
Sunday just shook off its jammies and with pancakes in tummy...
I'll be heading out in a couple hours.
BE SILLY while I'm away! Be happy!
APRIL 18, 2021 (#2)
AND HEART AND SOUL
APRIL 18, 2021 (#1)
Last week I skipped my semi-
traditional weekly religious
rant and I saw it was good.
So I rested. HAHAHAHAH
See that's a 7-DayFool joke!
Not that there's anything
wrong with the 7th Day idea!
Honestly, I think everything
really started going to hell in a
handbasket when stores
started staying open & people
started working/shopping on
the one day they had to
recalibrate their sanity.
But back to Sunday-school we
go! In this instance -- JESUS
NEVER TAUGHT IN CHURCHES!
He was always outside, usually
beyond city limits in the out-
lands beyond the reach of
daily civilization and the law
that would have had his head
for treason (which they even-
tually did so to speak). In fact,
his single visit to a church he
had zero good to say about.
Just another Catholic invention
in utter contradiction to the
example of their so-called 'Lord'
'teacher', 'savior'. Sounds like
a "F*CK YOU, Jesus" to me.
Almost nothing they do is
according to scripture or the
direct example of the individual
they claim they are 'worship-
ping'. Covid is killing church.
Thankfully! Hopefully, when
the Covid cloud clears away,
people will have discovered
a bright beautiful world of
possibility exists beyond the
sham of barely staying awake,
yawning through mindless
hymns, glad-handing and
synthetic propriety. We are
not good. We are still limp-
ing along this dusty path in
the wilderness towards true
decency. But we are many
miles from arrival. We are
still in the desert where Jesus
DID teach. Our true church
is in our hearts where we
sometimes feel guilt and
quietly apologize to ourselves
and...hopefully have a better
self beyond to give the world.
No pews, no false infinitude.
We are falling down.
But we are getting up again!!
The 'Kierke' is a hollow hall of
wasted hypocrisy. Let's be real!
Let's get out into the sun
and find true love and life
in the wind and the willows.
Let's lay in the grass and find
our fragile hope. And breathe.
In, out. Let's breathe.
And say...thank you...thank
you for my life!
Amen???
CHURCH OF DESIRE
APRIL 18, 2021 (#2)
AND THESE ARE THE WORDS
There's not really an altar of
bon mots, but if religious doc-
trine is right and it was by a
mere word that we and every-
thing else was created, it is
also by our words we are recog-
nized and loved/hated. Maybe
even daily ever-created. R U
mindful of your words? Most
don't think about things they
say or don't say, their diction,
their structure, the ears of 
THE OTHER (if you know basic
philosophy). Even Moses hid
his face from those who fol-
lowed him into the desert
because they were simply
not equipped to deal with
who he became after Sinai.
Every day I talk to a few
dozen people who don't
seem to realize how they pre-
sent themselves by their words
(which is all they have in txts
and emails). They do not con-
sider the WHO they present.
It's possible they're awesome
people, but all I have to go
on is their words. If they are
awesome, they're putting little
effort into ensuring that is
what I see/hear. Many present
a much lesser version of them-
selves. Too bad! I may have
met and loved a truly great
individual, but they give no
reason to find out. Everyday
we speak so many words!
I love learning other lang-
uages and traveling because
it resets in me the exigence
of inflection, intonation,
connotation, context, ver-
nacular, circumstance and
social apropos. We take
these far too much for gran-
ted in the west and it's ever-
increasing the hostility be-
tween us. This week -- with
lockdown being more abso-
lute than ever -- maybe take
some time to consider WHO
you present to the world in
your words, even with those
you're in LOCKDOWN with.
Are they seeing YOU?
Or a lesser, lousy-worded
version of you?  What does
your body language and the
words-of-omission translate
to every day? Every moment.
Are you word-lazy?
Word-sloppy? Could you be
better loved/seen by simply
caring more about what you
SAY by your words, silences,
actions, habits, failures.
Be the beautiful YOU!
Smith those thoughts, feel-
ings, gestures, actions.
As C.S. Lewis says, "If you
would be loved, be loveable."
OMG GOOD REGGAE!
BE STILL...CLOSE YOUR EYES...LISTEN...CONSIDER THESE WORDS
DANCE TO THE WORLD BEAUTY AND YOURS!!
Just a little EXTRA thought/word -- I'll be kicking around doing my Sunday
thing in my PJs and pancakes, resting my bones and your bone...(haha) and
watching  A THOUSAND WORDS, then boning up on my Japanese a lil and
probably my Sign Language, then later with some soup and salad, watching
JOE VS. THE VOLCANO (seen it a million gazillion times) and giving some
sweet Sentimental Sunday thoughts to my dear-departed as I DJ this song
we played at his 'memorial' at his request. Like OLD AND WISE from A.P.P,
he adored this song. It is...insanely beautiful!!! With lockdown being what
it is this is a great time for us all to consider those we love, what we're missing
that we can still find. Be beautiful today! Be happy. And remember...
try to be a little silly...laugh! Play! Don't be cool...be YOU!
Show MeAUDREY ASSAD
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It's a warm-hearted moment that'll love you to the end! And who the heck doesn't
love a KALEIDOSCOPE? If romance is best defined by distance and time
then OMG some of the sweetest, most innocent moments of the 60s/70s
can be defined by simply watching -- and allowing yourself to fall head-
over heels for -- the likes of THE COURTSHIP OF EDDIE'S FATHER, FAMILY
AFFAIR, GET SMART, BEWITCHED & I DREAM OF JEANNIE!
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It breaks my heart that I didn't grow up with this perfect
show! I don't know if the meloncholy of the cast/set/plot
reflects the times but if I'd had this to watch when I was
8 or 9 years old OMG it would have made my childhood
ABSOLUTELY GOLDEN! The writing in this show (I own
the DVD SET) is hilarious, endearing, sweet and has a
kind of indellible romance that exists not in love stories
we typically call ROMANCE but still manages to capture
the true idea of the romance of an era most people
who lived through failed to pass on to their children
and we are all at a horrible loss now for it.
Both it and THE COURTSHIP OF EDDIES FATHER
seem to capture an innocence of kids I've NEVER SEEN
since I've been alive now that all the mascots are gone
(Tony, Toucan, Trix, McDonalds Gang, Geoffrey etc) and
even the SMCartoons disintegrated, TOYS R US stores
now GONE!... Halloween on its last breath, bike-riding
...all the cute, sweet, touching things that make child-
hood... all gone. Shame on everyone over the age of 45!
You helped systematically destroy all the beautiful
things that made your era a dream! Including BOZO the
clown! OMG what a great show! Kids are simply not
allowed to be kids anymore...silly...reckless...sigh...
The silly, whacky hijinx of JEANNIE and SAMANTHA are a
fantastic replacement for Saturday Cartoons once ever few weeks. Jeannie
is especially sexy as hell -- what a VENUS she was! And that outfit! I need to
get me one of those even though I'd look awful in it! I still believe Jeannie was
the perfect woman/wife/lover! She doted on her man and wanted nothing more
from life than to make him happy. It's sad that he didn't return the same kind of
respect! I feel that way with every man (and woman for that matter) who visits
me! She rocks. Samantha as well! She worked so hard for Darren and he was
a whiney, inconsiderate dick (that's a joke if you get it). Women nowadays need to
get back to those basics and not worry so much about reciprocation.
And poor, poor Agent 99! she spent season after season waiting for
MAXWELL NOT-TOO-SMART to grab her and DO HER!!! HAHAHAHAHA
His innocence is in his cluelessness and I can see the appeal to a point.
It fostered one of the greatest songs of all times...TOTO's "99".

APRIL 17, 2021

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I dare you to find a single person who hates that song! You'd have to be
stupid, mental or inhuman! As for inhuman, Jeannie wasn't exactly human
and neither was Samantha and TABITHA turned out hot in her own show in ===>
the 80s and let's face it...who wouldn't like to whip up dinner with the
mere wiggle of the nose...or some kind of wiggle of something!
Wiggle that ass and BOOM! It's not magic these shows are now legendary
but it is awfully dispelling that society left their charm behind with
great Saturday cartoons and all the charm that kind of karma could have
possessed to help us now in this dire time we've all helped create.
I vote we return to the 60s/70s/early 80s and the silliness of being a kid
that once made us much more human and much more magical! 
U KNOW I LOVE YOU!
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THE "MONKEY BOYS"
(ONE SAT MORNING)
VIDEO posted here
originally...has been
removed as fore-
warned, due to space
issues. I will be
posting new ones
in future SAT MORN
posts. 
FRIDAY NIGHT SPIN!
FRIDAY MORN STILLNESS
HAMMERTIME!
APRIL 16, 2021 (#1)
If any1 dropped the hammer
on their own foot it was the
THOR series. The first movie
represents some of the best
SCI-FI ever produced from
Hollywood.They did every-
thing right!...then followed
that up by doing everything
wrong...only to worsen things
in 3...sigh. They simply have
all the worst writers in the biz
writing SCI-FI. Logically hire
people who HATE SCI-FI
to write it. They'll make it...
awesome. Yes, I've dropped
a hammer on my foot at
least twice. I actually have a
pretty serious twinge in my
ankle from using a hammer
that I dropped on my foot
and when I pulled it away
to react to the agony,
yanked my ankle and that
was 8 years ago. When I
dance...it still acts up and I
have to wear a tensor. The
human body is the greatest
tool we'll ever own so I like
to use it any way I can...even
if it results in an occasional
injury. What's the worst thing
you ever dropped on your-
self? What's the silliest flub
you ever had that resulted in
a boo-boo? I also like to
drop-tha-needle (vinyl-lover's
pun) which I'm doing today.
I think I'll check out the
amazing-looking DONNA
SUMMER album and -- since
I just VENUS'd Ann Margret
and mentioned my blue dress
-- VIVA LAS VEGAS sound-
track. The KING lives on!
Oh...and BTW...you can
DEFINITELY touch this!
And in my pants...it's
ALWAYS HAMMERTIME!
TAKE MY SEXY PULSE!! BOOM BOOM BOOM!
HAMMER OUT LOVE!!
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I Bet U Thot I Was Gunna Play B.
APRIL 16, 2021 (#2)
Some of us will never be
DROP DEAD BEAUTIFUL.
Shrug. Born brown-skinned
is another strike in a still-
pretty-racist world where
the superficial remains a
filter for every kind of
comparison/assessment.
But sooner or later...
handsome or hideous,
horned or just horny,
sculpted or shoddy, we all
DROP DEAD! As a widow
I can only be a cheerleader
for LIVING LIFE to the
fullest! A lot of beautiful
people have died in the
last decade, and people
took it as a sign of some
ominous...well...maybe the
omen wasn't so off, be-
cause up popped COVID
and it couldn't care less
whom it's mowing down.
Gorgeous and gargoyle...
it's weaving its way through
the idiot crowds & pluck-
ing posies left and right!
Life is beautiful! But maybe
not every life is sacred.
I'm a firm supporter of
withholding artificial life
support and allowing
nature to take its course.
It's silly to think a world that
can't feed everyone should
keep people alive at all
costs. Today imma be silly
and a joker by jumping on
D's momo and starting it
up, revving an engine I
can't steer but reveling
in the rumble of 750 CCs.
Then go zoom around on
my 60km/hr scootz! What
fun are you dying to have
before you...well...
Vroom Vroom!!
SEE! I DID!!!
LET YOUR BACKBONE SLIIIIDE!
FRIDAY NIGHTS 'IN' deserve a GREAT
FLICK REC so why not check out
PREMINGER if you haven't already!
I don't know why I love watching
Stone's movies so much but I do.
Weird! Not a huge fan of HER.
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Love TQ&TD! But for the epic flix you simply HAVE TO relish the genius of
FALLING DOWN (which I've seen a gazillion times!) and THE FALL (timely now
I think) which I saw first time years ago right around same time I first saw
Douglas' FALLING DOWN. For fun Snipes is always cool to watch and
DROP DEAD GORGEOUS is a little of genius/funny/socially epic.
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Vesna Vulović

was a Serbian

 flight atten-

dant who holds the Guinness 

world record 

for surviving the 

highest fall

without a

parachute:

10,160 m

(33,330 ft;

6.31 mi).

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OH GOD...I COMPLETELY
LOST COUNT...IS THIS 7...
8...OR NINE....? OH SHIT!
APRIL 15, 2021 (#1)
Who's eating my pretty perfect
pie? I know I know...I gotta get
new material! But I do so love
baking these amazing meat
pies I mentioned. And there's
nothing that makes my (mostly)
daily breakfasts outdoors even
more elegant no matter what
time or where than a silky fog
rising up and burning off gently
BEAUTIFUL DREAMERS SLEEP STILL
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in the sun. If you've never seen PLAY MISTY FOR ME it's overdue now. Eastwood
may be at his best (at least if you compare it to his badass D. Harry flix of the time).
Most of you have at least heard of my nightime fun in the woods but I'm still a bit
miffed out of the 20,000+ visitors daily only a dozen non-Vips have bothered to
message and say hello, enjoying the site or...your site sucks. Either way...would
appreciate some feedback. Lurkers are lousy! Don't lurk in life either people!
GET OUT, GET INVOLVED, GET LIVING OR GET DYING! Don't remember who
said that but it's relevant and real. Be real, feel, seal the deal, heal and have a
a meal...a feast..devour LIFE! Meanwhile, I'm listening today to JERKY BOYS!
OMG! I know they're crass and vulgar, stupid and embarrassing to the human
race but...like the stooges etc they still make me laugh because they shine
on the ridiculousness of us all, life, the world. I'd hire Sparky the clown! When I
was in grade 10 I was a clown for some kids at a local hospital with some
friends and my red nose kept falling off. Do you think that's a bad omen?
Maybe it's a harbinger of something cosmically misaligned! My next VENUS
is ADRIENNE BARBEAU...gorgeous, perfect in CANNONBALL RUN
(that sounds dirty...is it dirty?), sexy as hell and before my time too...sigh!
But the original Stevie DJing the dreadful hours of THE FOG!
Now that I've been a DJ for several years I respect the voice!
THOSE BEAUTIFUL EYES
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HOMER FEASTS ON HIS MOTHER'S WARM PIE
SHUT UP & DANCE!
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APRIL 15, 2021 (#2)
When it cums to cards -- especially
fortune telling -- there's so much
subjectivity. KINGS/QUEENS
does away with all that. They lay
as twisted or straight as they cum
from the deck and there's no
gypsy nonsense. Of course it's
all nonsense but it's fun and
there's an eerie accuracy at times.
Not always. I'm a bit twisted but
there's an old proverb that says something like, "What the gods have made
twisted, let no man straighten." Do you suppose the cosmos has a plan in-
cluding all the criminals and crazies and weirdos and wanton women
that morality has no business trying to 'adjust'? There's a creepy thought!
I've played twister clothed and in only underwear. Ever tried it? Being adult
isn't a reason not to. If anything, it's much more of an adult-appropriate
game than for kids since humans need touch and (at least when Covid isn't
crushing the closeness) it's a fun and fab way to cross those 'personal
space' barriers and mingle where it tingles. I'll be watching TWIST OF FATE
today I think with Ginger Rogers. Along with the original THE FOG it should
make a few hours easy-squeezy with my company in the outdoor cabana
where it can rain all it wants but with the 40 inch tv set up and laying on
the bed outdoors, one can have the best of both worlds -- Movies...without
being twisted up indoors. I'm gunna be sleeping out there the first night
that's warm enough! Seriously...get a cabana. Got it years ago and it
liberated my life from being indoors too much of the time!
LOST THE BEAT CAN NOW RESUME
LET'S PLAY TWISTER ALL NIGHT
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MINE DOESN'T FIT ANYMORE!
APRIL 14, 2021 (#1)
Listening to MITCH RYDER
and Gary Pucket last week
made me realize there's a ton
of great music I can't listen to
for longer than an hour...
Others obviously felt the same!
Great music...but not lasting.
My blue dress you've seen in
some of my Vegas photos is
out now that I'm significantly
smaller on the scale. Vegas
feels like a lifetime ago.
There's new ventures...nothing
lasts forever, which may be a
good thing. Mitch made way
for STONE PONEYS and it
was part of an entire hippy
revolution! So here's to
revolution! Evolution!
SAKITUME BABY! While in
Japan years ago I was temp-
ted to try SAKE but I'm just
not into booze even if it's
made from RICE. Cough sy-
rup is the hardest thing I
drink and even that...that
DM really makes my dreams
nutty! Since I last mentioned
it, I've tried to BONE UP
(I hope to hell that sounds
dirty!) on my waning Japan-
ese but without daily use it
fades, especially with so
many other hobbies and fun
taking slices of my mental
pie...ok that might be dirty
too! Time to make some of
my gold-star MEATPIES.
Hahahah...ya I went there!
What are you doing to pass
your time when otherwise
fit to be idle? Bridal? Bridle?
or Tidal? Always start with
the water...we are from (and
belong to) the sea...so we
are, by nature, tidal!
MAKE EYES AT ME BABY
I'M A DRUM! I'M A DRUM!
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LEMME RIDE IT!!
APRIL 14, 2021 (#2)
Cock it to me! Rock it to me
Sock it to me!
Any way it happens there's
nothing like a man's rocket
"Launching" inside you...
doesn't matter which launch-
pad it goes off into your inner
space! It's OUTTATHISWORLD!
I'm not one for SCI-FI myself
but there are some awe-
some sci-fi flicksI OTR only has
X-MINUS one and it hits and
misses. Meh! Most of the S/F
TV keeps bombing out in its
first season. They just can't
seem to stop making the
same mistakes over & over,
refusing to learn from pre-
vious failures. Learning is what
gets me up every morning,
including new ways to ride,
glide, slide and hide your
rocket. Ok ok ok I've got
my brain a little too FUCK-
ussed on sex. I'm a nympho
Gimme a Break! Tried watching
that retro TV show but Carter's
weight is so...distracting.
I guess that makes me a bad
person! Even WHAT'S HAP-
PENING throws me for the
XL mom. So... what's
happening? Hey Hey Hey.
Cute but not funny. Here's
what's funny...
Ripley actually intended to
go into space to f*ck aliens
because...in space...no one
can hear you scream...or
moan...or make wet, juicy,
sucking sounds..."
But they wanted a shorter
tagline...so they half-assed
it. Trust me, the alien did
not! HAHAHAHAH!
Now...rock...back..forth...
that's it...rock me in...
THIS WAS A BIG BREAKDANCING SONG?
IF U  CUM OVER WE CAN FLY
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APRIL 13, 2021 (#4)
My SPIDERMAN tablecloth!!
Beauty is in the eyes of breakfast!
Two Swedish HEATballs!
2 HOTTIES
that made
every man's
groin sizzle!
Damn!
THANKS
SWEDEN!!
APRIL 13, 2021 (#1)
Phone's in the fridge after cutting
up some watermelon two hours
ago. I'm washing my boobs with
a bagel I was eating in the shower.
The garage locked shut and now
I can't get into my own house.
I'm gaggin on a V8 I just chugged
forgetting it wasn't 5alive.
We've all done some pretty silly
stupid sh*t in our lives. I once
called my 10th grade geography
teacher Mrs. Hippo -- a nick the
LET'S DO SUM!
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the kids had been calling Ms. Hyland for years because of her fat hips and neck.
Sometimes we forget ourselves. Sometimes we lose a moment, a continuity of
consciousness. It's hilarious! What's the stupidest/silly thing you've ever done?
That's partially why I embrace my ditzyiness/foolish heart/head -- life is
loosie-goosie when you're loosie-goosie. Life is also lustier when you're
bustier but also giddier when you're kiddier. As most age they lose the ability
to be silly, excited! Embarrassment takes over and COOL becomes so
important that it becomes a full-time job to be smooooooooth! I'm one
those "smooth move exlax" people and it phases me zero! I make myself
laugh! Girlicious did the worst foolish/silly thing by self-destructing on their
diva/egos before they were even a smash hit but they were scrumptious
and they sing a mad-good STUPID SH*T! Elvis insisted we not be cruel.
I agree...but I also think the first step to cruelty is being COOL. Cool leads
to cruel...so Don't Be Cool. BE COOL is an awesome movie BTW.
But then so is RAT RACE...I'm weeeeening I'm weeeeening! Rowan
is just hilarious and adorable -- the Chaplin of our time! 
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OOPS I DID WHAT AGAIN?
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APRIL 13, 2021 (#2)
It's hard to acquit Americans
of their stupidity. Mercer made
a hilarious living on the buffet
that is American ignorance.
"Congratulations Canada on
getting your first mile of
paved road!" ARE YOU
SERIOUS?!?!?! WOW!
I mean there's Dumb and
then there's.........deliberately ignorant/uneducated/uninformed.
Weird is fine! Megan (Fox) has said some of the most AWESOME things
any human's ever been recorded saying and some of them are right
on the money like, "Olivia Wilde is so sexy she makes me wanna strangle a
mountain ox with my bare hands!" OMG what an awesome crazy thing
to say!! If you're going to say something crazy/weird...say something
like THAT! Don't be the idiot who arrested a woman for possession of
SPAGHETTI-Os! There are entire states that have adopted a posture of
"We are simply ignoring COVID exists". I'm not a GOOFY fan because he
wreaks mayhem by simply being careless and apathetic. BE FUN!!!
In 60 scs Ashrita Furman crushed 80 eggs with his head! That sounds
like a hellofalotoffun and stupid as hell! Pick something FUN TO DO
today and do it no matter how silly/stupid. Laugh at youself! Be a
cool fool but don't drool or be a tool! Maybe try a HIPPETY-HOP!
APRIL 13, 2021 (#3)
Peter Sellers Birdie Num Nums,
Animal House Pledge Pin/Golf
Caddyshack Bionic Scene...
Some things never go out of
laughing-style! Silly is funny.
Zohan salon-sex/styling...
And BTW...grandmas
panties??? Seriously?!?!
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