HAPPY YOU...HAPPY PLANET!

​

$99 MAKES A HAPPYJACK (or JILL)

(30 minutes of what's been voted far-

and-away the best BBBJ in GTA)

$185 Doubles your HAPPY

and sets the ecstasy FREE!

​

"If my body would allow it I could have a dozen

orgasms every time I visit Amy - - that's how

much she excites me. She seems to know exactly

what to do for maximum pleasure"

-- BlueBro69

THIS SITE IS NOT MEANT TO BE VIEWED ON A PHONE

So it's SUNDAY again and, as

usual, I gotta do the one thing

experts say to never do if you

want people to like you --

never discuss money, politics

& RELIGION. Hey! It's Sunday

so...oddly enough KIERKE

means CHURCH and garde

means protect/take protective

custody of. Kierkegaard's

theology put him more at odds

with the church than openly

serving it. What I DO like?

"To dare is to lose one's foot-

ing momentarily, to not dare

is to lose one's self." Whether

you're dancing in the streets

(which aches my ankles!) or

on a horse, it's terrifying to

feel...less-than-groovy about

your footing. But I'm more

aware every day that life is

worthless without doing 1

thing every day that scares

me and anything is better

than regret for a life of omis-

sion on my deathbed. So

I'm adventuring through my

blessed hours, not in a stuffy

church, but in the big beaut-

ful world where mornings

glory! Try THE GODS MUST

BE CRAZY. I laughed so hard

...I lost my footing...

and yknow...it was far from

horrible! Cum find yours!

MARCH 7, 2021

Far from warm or frigid, sunday morning 'walks'

are a stone cold groove -- without the snow.

For those who don't know, horses all have a unique

gait even when they emulate one another. They

also tend to gait together, especially when they're

familiar, even moreso when they're kin. Wandering

the woods keeps us off the muck/stone thanks to

autumn dross. (sigh) Nothing epic to say except

that having nothing epic to say means it does

what it's intended to do ---- empty the mind,

calm the soul, ease the angst, settle the spirit.

Trots, gallops and unbroken strides exhilarate,

but this...you can almost do eyes closed.

MARCH 7, 2021

While ST PATTY's DAY is

still a ways off, and I don't

drink at all and never have,

I'd have to live on the moon

to not appreciate just how

much HAPPINESS beer has

brought so many people.

It's (technically) a depressant

but there's no disputing that

many people seem a lot

cheerier when they've had

a few 'cold ones'. We didn't

invent beer any more than

we invented hockey but

CANADA has now become

synonymous with stronger

alcohol content and hockey

being Canada's game.

I don't like hockey either --

very 'girly' of me I know but

why would I have a problem

bringing a man a beer while

he watches the Canucks?

There's no difference from

a woman eating ice-cream

(or warm cream wink wink)

while watching B. Jones'

Diary. The first beer in the

world was brewed by the an-

cient Chinese around the year

7000 BCE (known as kui). In

the west, however, the process

now recognized as beer brew-

ing began in Mesopotamia 

at the Godin Tepe settlement

now in modern-day Iran be-

tween 3500 - 3100 BCE.

Since then this HOPS-based

brewski has become more

than 'culture-defining craze'!

It's just sad that a holiday that

used to celebrate IRISH cul-

ture has turned into a day to

get wasted...nothing more.

But then Christmas sucks...

and...well...shouldn't we be

wiping the holiday slate clean

and starting over with some-

thing we actually find.........

relevant to us now.....?

I vote for MAN DAY...maybe

GIRLDAY, scrap ST PATTY'S

and just have "SCREW RE-

SPONSIBILITY DAY...every-

one PLAY HOOKEY day!"

And, of course, Everybody

hump everyone day!

Oh HELL YES!! Ok girls...

HOP from cock to cock!

Don't stop don't stop...

make everyone....

“In the end, art is a small beer.

The really serious things

are earning one’s living

so as not to be a parasite

and loving one’s neighbor.”

— W.H. Auden

BEERFEST is hilarious!

STRANGE BREW is cute and

CANUCKIAN. And why not

revisit ANIMAL HOUSE and

go truly RETRO with

WHAT, NO BEER?

THANK GOD, IT'S FRIDAY!

I'm your GIRL, FRIDAY! Lemme get

things done for you!  Prep for the

weekend with a wild, wet wonderful....................

Special FLIX REC: Cary Grant, Ros russel

HIS GIRL FRIDAY

Snap up, wrap  up and lap up

your girl Friday!

DIPPYCHICKS?

Cher Horowitz (Alicia Silverstone) — Clueless

Karen Smith (Amanda Seyfried) — Mean Girls

Shelley Darlington (Anna Faris) — The House Bunny

Romy White and Michele Weinberger

(Mira Sorvino and Lisa Kurdrow) —

        Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion

Elle Woods (Reese Witherspoon) — Legally Blonde

The Girl (Marilyn Monroe) — The Seven Year Itch

Mary Katherine Gallagher (Molly Shannon) — Superstar

Natalie Cook (Cameron Diaz) — Charlie’s Angels

 I WANT TO THANK MY MOXY PLAYMATE FOR NOT JUST GIVING ME A GREAT RIDE

BUT FOR ALLOWING THE FOOTAGE APPEARING IN THE HIPPYNESS CLIP

THANKS SWEETIE -- YOUR NEXT 2 HOURS ARE 100% FREE OF ANY CHARGES

RESPECT GIVEN IS RESPECT RETURNED!        ---------------  MARCH 5, 2021

MARCH 5, 2021

I've never been too HIP but I've

always known how to use mine.

I've got grinds and churns and

crazy-eights, slams, slides, glides

and rides, all of them in a random

sweaty-betty. But aside from

knowing how to jump your

JOYSTICK, I'm really more

meaning the actual HIPPY men-

tality which isn't nearly the same

as 'millennial apathy'. The "Whatever..." attitude that evolved out of the

late 80's/early 90s most of my friends had, never suited me. I couldn't and

wouldn't acclimate to it. However, the HIPPY culture suits me pretty well!

Besides the amazing colorful fashions, there's a sort of PEACE, MAN that

they combined with a genuine social awareness of both what we've done

well and what still needs love and change all wrapped up in a non-violent

approach that's groooooovy! The music rocked; and what's not to love

about FREE LOVE?! The real obstacle was always laziness and drugs

which I don't dig ! Some semi-ambitious HIPPIES sounds flow; so

why not let them be US!? RUDE AWAKENING, EASY RIDER, and

HAIR should be balanced by OUR IDIOT BROTHER and ACROSS

THE UNIVERSE. For a couple hours let's turn on, tune in and drop out!

MARCH 5, 2021

"Dippy” comes from the 1920s

slang 'DIP' for a stupid person.

Don't think I qualify for stupid

but we've all done monumen-

tally stupid things that some-

times seem impossible to us.

I'm all for being DIPPY if you're

a girl. Dippy people have way

more fun than everyone else

'cause we're not preoccupied

with being/looking smart/cool. I've never had any interest in looking

cool and have embraced the 'Dippy' code even though I'm an

exceptionally-educated and competent person re: so many things.

The post-modern intellectualism has gone too far. On the other hand,

people seem to have over-embraced the deliberate facade of bad

grammar and being so out of touch they don't know basic things that

we should all know. Once you create a balance between "Relax! You're

angsting too hot!" and "Someone has to care or it all goes to shit!"

you find a flow that allows you to laugh most of the time (esp at your-

self and the universe) but also commit your heart and soul to meaning-

ful matters that keep us from disintegrating. The DIPPY mind permits

you to enjoy The 3 Stooges, Dude Where's My Car, Naked Gun/

HotShots/Airplane movies and to laugh at LIFE's spilled milks.

Spill some milk............riiiight.....here! Occasionally DIPPY, but I'm

a LIPS/HIPS/NIPS and quips genius. Laugh & Lick Lifestyle baby!

SEX, FOOD, SLEEP, TIME...

Whatever it is we love, want and

need, there's an infinite craving

for MORE...MORE...MORE...

Far from being a 'bad thing', it's

what's to credit for almost every-

thing we've achieved! Without

that craving, we would all be

pointless gurus decaying at the

mountaintop. DESIRE is a FIRE.

It's a FIRE that keeps us WIRED

I can't get enough CUM! Who knows where my cumjunkie status started

but I'm not even close to embarrassed by it. As fixations for MORE

go, SEX, PLEASURE, INTIMACY (even if temporary/fleeting), could

be something far worse. Some people are just a blessing to our FUNNY

BONE. Few people make me laugh and simultaneously feel poign-

ancy like DUDLEY MOORE. Unfaithfully Yours, Arthur, 10, Crazy People,

Lovesick, Mickie & Maude, Blame It On The Bellboy are an awesome start.

His musical talent made him at least a double-rainbow. Why do we

ever stop DANCING? I stink at it (almost as badly as I stink at

videography) but IT'S FUN and it's impossible to not be HAPPY...

so why ever stop? MORE HIPPY-HOPPY-HUMAN-HAPPINESS!

MARCH 5, 2021

GOLF -- yet another thing I suck

at. I like to think I can at least

SUCK everything even if I suck AT

so many things. The only LINKS

I got going for me are on my site.

But it's a gentlemen's game for

sure, where men DO tend to be

at their best. I'm a cheerleader

for MEN and certainly MEN

being so many of the things that

so many now frown on.

But I also think MEN haven't gotten nearly enough credit for their leaps

& bounds. Women do nothing but bitch and it never ends! Regardless

of how MEN have evolved and improved (all for our sakes), it's never

enough it seems. The most read book on the planet says that women

are predisposed to spend their lifetime biting at men's heels, since the

dawn of man himself. WTH? Many men are GILMOREs -- my term for a

man who's still got his manhood but can be sweet, reasonably ambitious

and selfless (IOW -- Happy Gilmore...or any other of Sandler's roles).

All men clean up nicely when appropriate but let's not kick 'em out of

the sandlot, huh? Men have a sexy, sorta 'dirty' quality that's essential

to their fundamental essence. On the GREEN they show they can be

elegant even, but let's not take away their ROAR! Try ANY Sandler

movie but the man-movie charm of CADDYSHACK is timeless!

You can even go TIN CUP and remember...I'm a HOLE-IN-ONE!

HA! PENIS! How I've been

itching to FINALLY use that!

HA! PENIS! Worth saying

twice it's so nice! First of all

...what the hell is there to

NOT BE PREOCCUPIED

with?!?! It's literally THEEEE

JOY STICK! Even a bulldyke

has a basic comprehension

of how the universe works &

rudimentary science! Penis is

quite literally LIFEGIVER! As

a woman, I'm keenly aware of

my 'hotbox' and it's certainly

doing 90% of the LIFE PRO-

DUCING labor...but PENIS

is pulling the trigger...PENIS

is pumping pleasure and

POW! BOOM! You're preg-

nant! However you look at it

or whatever in-vitro option

you choose...CUM is frigging

god-like! And the barrel it

BOOMS out of is frigging...

ineffable! Just ineffable!

(yes I chose that word delib-

erately). Penis is worthy of

every hour of preoccupation.

Second...after it goes off

(wherever it goes off) PENIS

is warm, wet and the brain

releases norepinephrine, sero-

tonin, oxytocin, vasopressin

nitric oxide (NO), hormone

prolactins and DAMMMNN!

a man is basically as dosed

as any man on MDMA...

& plenty of it. He is as close

to chemical HEAVEN as he's

going to get until he dies.

Explain to me why anyone

would be twisted enough to

not want that 100 times a day!

Penis envy? HELL YES!! I wish

I could feel what that's like to

go off like a gun and feel...

well...a hundred powerful

raptures running through my

body and brain! PENIS envy?

HELL YES!!! If the nearest to

it I'm ever gunna get is the

girly-gets-it...I'll take it...

BEYOND HAPPILY. Lennon

was a pacifist but the meta-

phor means more than most

really appreciate. Society has

diminished and reduced so

much about men, including

his real magic...his real mean-

ing -- THE GUN THAT GAVE

US LIFE...trillions of times!

HAPPINESS...HA! PENIS!

Coincidence? Or common

sense? All Hail The Penis!!

(Dropping the mic!!)

MARCH 4, 2021

MARCH 4, 2021

Let's dispel some silly myths.

I mean...let's straighten some

tilted photos on the wall!

None of my playmates EVER

have trouble getting an erec-

tion, keeping an erection...

having an orgasm, or two...or

even three. I take no glory in

this since erectile dysfunction

IS 100% THE FAULT OF

WOMEN! There...I said it!

Men have no difficulties with

me because -- quite simply --

I'M A GIRL! The advent and

progress of this...madness

began 50 years ago (maybe

more) with the dissolution

of fundamental sexual roles.

I've said it before...so-called

'women's lib' did more to

destroy society than all the

wars & plagues combined.

Men've been methodically

emasculated and, well...

just confused about what

they're allowed/supposed

to be/not be. They've been

TRYING to be co-operative

and accomodating but, in

so doing, they have been

stripped of their ROAR!

Men used to ROAR! KINGS

of the JUNGLE! Now they

can barely purr. I love it

when a man GOES OFF and

really rrreeaaalllyy SOUNDS

OFF too...unleashes his in-

ner TARZAN yell when he

cums! I'm a girl...if ANYONE

was designed to be a 'sex

machine' it's the one with

all the curves...the pursued

not the pursuer! Men now

feel reduced to being no-

thing more than a penis.

How can anyone feel good

about themselves when the

only 'piece' of them that's

wanted or respected (and

even THAT has been...

pruned...) is a single ana-

tomical segment? I'm not

a machine and MEN are

AWESOME! I want their

sex because of everything

else they are. That said, is

it just me or should Steve

Austin have BIONICOCK?

And BIONIBOOBS for

Jamie Summers!? Clark

Kent super-pumping

Diana Prince sounds...

SUPER-sexy! I predict some

smoking hotbox...literally!

Smoke...cumming out...

Just a rosy reminder that the safe, social-

distanced SCARLET CARSON option

is still available and thriving as many

choose to change their approach to

sexy online texting/FT.

I currently  have 1 opening available

​

"Best gal doing the best thing for all

the right reasons. You just can't beat

this gal in person or with this option.

What other girl you know loves sex

that much and has so much wit &

conversation skills? Gets me off

everytime, anytime. 10/10"

-- Illiad29, Feb 27, 2021

CLICK FOR INFO

MARCH 3, 2021

Now...THAT'S a magic number!

Who knew when mystics, numer-

ologists, sacred writings and

witches were proposing the

power of DIGITS that 8,008,135

would mesmerize so many for

ALL ETERNITY!!!??? Being born

with 32Ks naturally isn't always

as easy as you think. I was teased

incessantly not only as BLOOM

COUNTY (didn't even know the

comic strip then) and 12-year old boys had to be convened in the princi-

pal's office to be sternly warned 3 times before they let the taunting go.

Girls -- being the competitive vipers so many are -- let their jealousy and

envy target me. Turns out...they were right...I am a freak...only in a very,

very good way! Of course DANCING is a bit of a challenge! There's no

sports bra on the planet that can hold boulders when you're trying to

bop-til-you-drop. Now...imagine if we had 3 BOOBS?! WHOA! That's

too TOTAL RECALL for me! These two kittens are MORE than enough!

But for men (and many BI/LEZ women) they can't get enough.

No straight man would ever say, "Seen two, you've seen em all!"

Hell, I would never say that! I love other women's tits! You can philoso-

phize all you like about maternity, comfort and tell men, "you do know

they're basically sweat glands, right?" and be wasting your breath.

Try, STRIPTEASE, WE'RE THE MILLERS, and, remember, when it cums

to (or ON) the HOLY TRINITY for lust, we got a pair to beat a full-house.

According to my beloved

SCHOOLHOUSE ROCK, 3

is a magic number. (But it's not

Saturday morning). Of its many

fascinating attributes and sig-

nificances to us and our world,

perhaps the two most worth

mentioning are that it's con-

sidered lucky in CHINESE cul-

ture because it sounds like

"ALIVE" in Cantonese... 

and "Third time's a charm". We see in 3 dimensions but no one can

really know for certain where our mythic reverence of the number started.

We ARE alive! And, as a species, our self-preservation often relies on our

ability to persevere even after failure/catastrophe. Practice DOES make

perfect eventually, even if it takes more than three tries. But we only have

one life to live even if specific events/choices might afford us 1000

mistakes/disasters. We get countless chances to BE HAPPY but maybe

that's why so many are not so happy. Given an hour I do my best (and

have frequently succeeded) at getting 3 orgasms from my playmates

Try TANGO ON BROADWAY for some classic dancing and THREE

TO TANGO for laughs:  stay away from 3-CARD monte. HAPPINESS

isn't a shell-game...now...toss me a rose...and let's TANG-OH!

The first day of every month I

make my pièce de résistance

-- SICILIAN CACCIATORE --

which I actually learned from

two 45-yr-old twin sisters

while in Italy (my 3rd visit)

who really knew their stuff!

It's a one-in-a-million recipe

that's won awards among the

people who know their stuff!

Happiness is a chemical re-

sponse to many things in-

cluding food-to-die-for!

They say the way to a man's

heart is through his stomach

(because 'through his penis'

is not romantic and ITALY

literally defined ROMANCE

...if you didn't know...ROME

...ROMANCE...duh! hehe).

I plucked these Sicilian mem-

ories from my annals (that

sounds dirty...is that dirty?)

of my life because they were

windy-as-hell days just like

yesterday was with weather

advisory with gusts that

screamed through the vents

like a banshee all day in the

house! And the 'romance'?

Well...very sexy at least if not

outright romantic!

MARCH 2, 2021

Choosing between 'splashy'

and 'catchy' (Cacciatore) was

not easy. At least...not as

easy as me. But with the boat

coming out of dry-dock this

week I'm desperate to splish

splash both it's hull and mine

(that's an entendre for ass).

The GIF above? I'm actually

saying, "I'm a little bubble-

bunny!" And soon I'll be

sailing last year's new Aloha

and making new memories.

If  WAKING NED DEVINE,

MILLIONS, and FINIAN'S

RAINBOW aren't flix you've

seen...MARCH is the IRISH

MONTH to revel in all three.

D. was Irish and I learned

quite a bit about the culture

from him...but last year I

focussed on St. Patrick's

Day/Luck etc so this year

we won't avoid it but any-

one who knows IRISH folk

knows they work hard as

hell, play harder, love to

sing and have some of the

happiest dances (jigs) you

can imagine! They are the

funniest, most carousing

folks on the planet! And

why not try THE ITALIAN

JOB (both versions!!!) &

CINEMA PARADISO (I

don't wanna be drab and

say THE GODFATHER).

Cara Bella! Bonjourno!

MARCH 2, 2021

EVERYONE CAN DANCE!

Just like everyone can F*CK!

I used to be a wallflower, balk-

ing at so many things! OMG so

many things! If there was ever a

time to break out of your dol-

DRUMS...it's NOW! I got long

tall glasses to sip something

creamy and warm from...so get

your bottoms-up and shake

that...and remember...DANCE

LIKE NO ONE IS WATCHING! But if I'm watching...I'm too busy dancing

my HappyAss off too...too damn happy to even think about critiquing

you or anyone else. Dancing should be the freest form of LIFE and

FREEDOM! There are no rules! There's no right or wrong way to dance.

Flix recs: HAPPY FEET, FOOTLOOSE  are amazing but give STRICTLY

BALLROOM a chance! And take this chance...haven't you been putting

this off too long? BUCKETLIST me...LIFE has been slipping through the

neck of the hourglass tooooooooo long! Grab a glass...toast TIME

and let's cut footloose, clothesloose, loveloose, lustloose!

Introduce me to someone who

isn't HAPPY when they're dancing

and I'll be shaking hands with the

most miserable bastard that ever

lived! WELL CUM to MARCH

MADNESS -- 31 days of what

should be a PLANET full of FUN!

We're gunna laugh, lust, dance,

sing, do the hokey-pokey

(it's even dirtier than it sounds),

get whacky, whimsical and --

most of all -- HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY! With spring finally finding it's warm

way to us, it's high-time we shake off the shackles of what was the worst

year since HIROSHIMA and jump around like muppets on ACID and take

the best amphetamine in the world -- GOOD OLD 100% natural

DOPAMINE...that's right! No pills, potions, patches or pulls necessary!

We have an endless injection from the ventral tegmental..at least as

long as you're breathing....are you breathing baby?

Let's get happy together...we should be DANCING IN THE SHEETS